Tales of Drunkenness

-Mamma Wants White Chocolate-

Quick sum up of my new apartment… I like to call it the ghetto.. Half of the residents don't have phones. 1/2 are of Mexican decent… ¼ is African American the other ¼ is Other. I'm one of the others.. as a single white male. And I have no problem with race… (in fact I really dig Hispanic chicks) but you can kinda understand why I call it the ghetto… plus rent is really cheap.. I have a slum lord that takes 4 months to fix anything…. And most residents don't have automobiles.

OK well there is my downstairs neighbor a black lady probably in her late 30's with two really cute kids… she is overall a nice person… but she asks to use my phone constantly and that can get tiresome. Side Note: She did stab her babies daddy in the parking lot one night… 8 police cars.. and a lot of ruckus. I was in a drunken slumber through the entire ordeal.

Anyway, It was a Sunday night and I was just enjoying some rum and the company of my friend… simply known as Chuckzilla. We were both half lit.. Correction I was half lit and I really don't remember if Chuckzilla was drinking that night. Then I get a knock on my door. It's my downstairs neighbors son and this is a quote of what he said, "Do you have something sweet.. for my Momma after her supper." I'll wait a sec and let you absorb that……

Being a bit intoxicated at the time… I really didn't realize what he said… I just sprang to action, "Sure I have something for her!" Pulled out a Nutty Bar (which are orgasmic) like a sword and gave it to the kid… and shut my door.

I took a seat and sat there staring at Chuckzilla. I wanted him to explain to me what just happened. And did he really say what I think he said.

"Yes Alan he said that." I thought to myself before Chuckzilla said a word.

Did she want my penis? That is debatable... Was the kid just checking to see if I was home so he could steal my Playstation? Or did he or his mamma indeed just want something sweet for after supper... The world may never know.

Yet another instance were I possibly could have scored… but as for my downstairs neighbor… I really don't want to stick my sausage into her wallet… From what I see it looks like she's got a lot of ailments… and plus she stabbed a guy.